Big ABV in the Youngsters vs Low ABV in the Oldsters: WHY AM I SO DAMN OLD NOW?
If you’re drinking two-tree 8% DDH IPAs in one sitting, colour me impressed there, big guy. You know what two 8% DDH IPAs will do to a guy like me? Puts me to sleep. And for someone who is as big of a craft beer fanatic as myself, nothing is less glamorous for a fanboy than to finish every sentence with a huge ass yawn.
When I was in my early twenties and bushy tailed (WHERE DOES THAT TERM COME FROM ANYWAY?!), more alcohol meant more energy, more FUN, more “HELL YEAH!” Now, at forty-one years young, more alcohol means “me faster go nigh-nigh”, but then I sleep like absolute trash, which means I’m even more tired, and at least 37% more ornery than normal. AND I AM NORMALLY PRETTY GALDARN ORNERY.
The days of pounding ANYTHING (besides the pavement when attending protest rallies to advocate for my friends of color or of varying identities) are long gone. The sad reality now has me looking at ABV on beer menus long before I look at the style.
Hell, I don’t even care how much the beer costs just as long as it doesn’t put me to sleep! I work hard for this lifestyle where I’m exhausted by 7:45pm four nights a week, then drink coffee at 6pm on Friday evening to stay up past 10:30pm and then sleep in until 7:30am on Saturdays LIKE A BOSS, and then can’t go to sleep at all on Sunday nights.